Behold, the Mistress

Posted by Rob Mahoney on August 21, 2009 under Commentary | 14 Comments to Read

Everyone has their dark secrets, but I harbor within me a Dark Passenger.  It has an insatiable and unspeakable hunger, one that when spoken aloud, is tantamount to sacrilege.  Its desires have led me to an unthinkable resolution: I am a fan of two NBA teams.  The Mavs will forever be my love, my life, but now and again, I escape away into the embrace of the Charlotte Bobcats.

That said, I can’t help but feel that my relationship with the ‘Cats is bittersweet, if not tragic.  For whatever the reasons, this team has always courted the turgid romantic inside of me.  The whole ordeal has been rooted in contradiction, a betrayal of logic: I love the Bobcats because no one loves the Bobcats.  And for what?  A talented forward with so much energy, it keeps him off the court.  A departed face of the franchise, shipped out after he failed to measure up to Dwight Howard’s considerable shadow.  A point guard who has forgotten how to pass and shoot, but still finds ways to be effective.  Roster moves that ‘make sense’ but rarely do, and head-scratching trades that come up roses.  O brawling love!  O loving hate!  O anything of nothing first create!  O heavy lightness, serious vanity!  Misshapen chaos of well-seeming forms!

This love I feel, that feel no love in this.

Perhaps it’s that force, that contradiction, which has kept me a Bobcat fan through five…interesting years.  Even though the wins column has yet to top 35, even though their orange unis are unspeakably awful, and even though ownership and management are inept enough to be considered villainous.  This team, through all its incarnations, has been enigmatic and lovable enough to keep me coming back for more.  The Bobcats may not love me, but there’s a special nook in my heart that glows that miserable shade of fluorescent orange.

Do you have a Dark Passenger?

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  • preet

    a little part of me cannot wait to see how good the thunder can become with all of their promising youngsters… after all the abuse they’ve copped because of the move from seattle, i always find myself rooting for them when they play any team other than the mavs

  • benway37

    Up until the 07 playoffs, it was Golden State. Now I can’t even watch them, since it has become mandatory for play by play guys to mention said playoffs at some point during any and every warriors game.

  • Daniel

    That’s funny, the Sonics were always my mistress. As it stands now, I hope Durant signs elsewhere and doesn’t re-up with the Team That Shall Not Be Named. There’s a reason why Bennett and company have had abused heaped on them, and it’s richly deserved.

  • John

    Fantastic Dexter reference.

  • Brian D

    From time to time, a team comes along that is so fun to watch that I can’t help but root for them when they’re playing anyone but the Mavs. The circa-2000 Bucks, the Kings of the early decade, KGs one good T’wolves team, the SSOL Suns….

    There aren’t any teams I can say that about at the moment. I suppose if the Thunder grow they could take the mantle, I’ve always loved KD’s game. We’ll see.

  • Rob Mahoney

    @John: Thanks, just finished Season 3 this week. Thinking of maybe picking up one of the novels.

  • ninjoker

    i really really hate to admit it. But when i grew up watching the horrible 90′s mavs teams, i would sprinkle in a lot of spurs games to get a taste of winning. So, although i am a mavs fan of the highest order, i can’t help but to root for the spurs a little.

  • Chaz

    The Nets for me. And, sadly, this was well before Devin got traded there. I was getting back into basketball when the Nets were doing good and gave me a team to root for in the East while I rooted for the Mavs in the West.
    I actually believed the Kidd, Carter, Jefferson core was rather dynamic, and now they’re all off on other squads. Hah. But there’s still Devin, Lopez, Yi and the chance to watch a young squad get better.

  • Victor

    i think of the mavs as my life partner and the suns as my devoted girlfriend of many years that has to put up with my open relationship of a basketball love life. my “dark passenger” would have to either be the clippers or the bobcats though. i was devastated with okafor going to NOLA. but i’m soooo excited for the clippers.

  • PhillyMav

    ‘My only love sprung from my only hate’! If you’re going to quote Shakespeare, at least quote a better play!

    I think you have another love, indeed. ‘The Two Man Game’ also reads as ‘Thet Woman Game’. And who, by the way, is the other man in the two man game? What should we make of this? Not to be cheeky. I leave it to you, Romeo…


  • David

    my other team is the blazers. i’ve always liked watching young athletic teams grow. i also have a man-crush on brandon roy that i’m not ashamed to admit.

  • Victor


    LOL! I WAS JUST thinking about how the site always looks like “The T Woman Game”. Literally, 20 seconds ago.

    The best thing about the Cats is that they’ve never beaten the Mavs. Lol. Before, they hadn’t beaten my beloved Suns either, but that stopped last season.

  • Brayden

    I think I’d have to go with the Clip show on this one. It’s not that I love the players, management, etc. I certainly do not hold too much love for Baron right now. 07 wounds are too fresh.

    What I do love about the Clippers, though, is that they stand for everything that is not Lakers. They are not Hollywood or showtime. They are the team with the affordable tickets for the devoted, but average income basketball fan. No one goes to a Clipper game to see and be seen. Furthermore, they just seem like the anti-Kobe.

    I would love to see the patriotic red, white, and blue of the Clippers surpass the Lakers for a significant stretch run of a few years. It would rock that city like an earthquake. Alas, as long as Kobe and Donald Sterling are around on their respective teams, I highly doubt that will ever happen, no matter how good Blake Griffin is.

    Btw, does anyone else ever sit and contemplate what you would do if you were the owner of the Clippers? Its a fun game to think of the moves you could make, both with players and coaching. They have a lot of assets, but just need to find some semblence of chemistry and coaching prowess. There is amazing potential buried somewhere deep within.